Worrying Women eGoddess Issues – Why Do Women Worry So Much?

Worrying Women – Why do women worry, or experience anxiety, perhaps more than other genders? Let’s explore possibilities here…

Sometimes I wonder whether Eve, before she offered the forbidden fruit to Adam, worried if the fruit did actually come from an eco-farm, whether it was washed well from pesticides, or whether it was conducive to his health.

When I use the term ‘woman’, I am referring to any person who identifies with the feminine aspects, irrespective to gender.

Yes, most women worry. We are the first to notice if our kids might be ADHD, or need a dentist, or if our partner needs to use an apnea machine at night, if our family, in general, needs anything attending to. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, women are twice as likely as men to be diagnosed with anxiety disorders. Over the years, researchers have examined hormonal changes (like Estrogen receptors) and genetics, cultural and environmental triggers but have not come up with conclusive results as to why this is so.

Worrying Women

Why do women worry, or experience anxiety, perhaps more than other genders? Some anxiety is actually healthy but then there is anxiety which is toxic. Let’s explore both: –

As part of a healthy ‘Instinctive’ anxiety, some hypotheses suggest that worry is an evolutionary trait for worrying women. The strong female concern for their offspring, could help protect human infants, allowing the species to thrive. Our feminine instinct and intuition, are often highly accurate in helping to navigate our, and others’, lives.  Remember that the female species can incorporate very healthy masculine aspects and that is why we are so versatile. The masculine and feminine instincts, the aggressive and nurturing natures, have always co-existed. Society’s harmony depends on a balance of these two.

We often find ourselves being jumpy, easily startled, unable to unwind, or having anxiety disturbed sleep. Think of that woman who is watching a child, or an elderly parent, step onto an escalator! Or that woman who makes sure their dear ones have that life-saving tissue in their pocket to ensure the sneeze is a safe one! Or the one who worries about family events like Christmas and birthdays, of who should sit near who, or who should avoid who!  Or the feminine part of us which knows when we need to prepare our bodies for sex, to have a picture-perfect romance!

Research on non-verbal communication skills have indicated that women are great at reading facial expressions of emotions and are quite likely to pick up subtle emotional messages sent by others.  The feminine aspect in women shows evidence that we are empathic and perceptive enough to be able to notice what others are feeling or thinking.  But then, this is the downside of what could lead to anxious worrying women.

If what we pick up from our environment becomes too heavy to carry, or cause us too much anxiety, we might not all have the skills to handle it. We might carry the heavy burden around hoping to solve the problems of the world. Talk about the term Mother Earth! Hence Women World Worries! I would like to believe it is more like Women World Wisdom!

Added to that are the normal concerns that stem from our childhood upbringing, and the constant worry of the ‘not enough’ self-testing. Our internal chatter of “Am I attractive enough; clever enough; lovable enough; dressed appropriately enough; fat or thin enough; Worthy enough??” Often termed as ‘Traumatic anxiety’, this is what crucifies our female mental fatigue. Most of this is unnecessary and my hope is that, by age, or by wisdom of life experience, we learn to shake it off.

‘Cognitive’ anxiety is often based on anticipated events in the future which haven’t happened yet, or may not even happen.  It is based on ‘what if’ questions like ‘What if I fail the job interview, or if my partner leaves me, or if I get sick, or if anything happens to my kids, or if I make a fool of myself, or not be able to cope?’ Most of us can relate to thoughts like this.

So how do we live with stress, or at least befriend it? The song title of Pink Floyd, ‘Comfortably Numb’, just the title not the lyrics, came to mind.  It seems that all the states that were notoriously termed as ‘escapes’ or ‘zoning/chilling out’ or ‘running away’, and all the forbidden fruits like booze, smoke, and sex, all help to slow down the monkey chatter in our mind.

However, we can explore less destructive ways to de-stress than those just mentioned.  I always encourage women to find that corner of their home, that silent spot which can be undisturbed by others, for one to meditate, practice mindfulness or yoga, or just breathing techniques.  All these suggested methods can be found and taught on the internet.  I usually hang a ‘do not disturb ‘on my door handle while I relax to some music, put down some thoughts on paper to relieve and unload from my mind, consult my inspiring quotes cards, similar to prayer, or just rest. Some prefer cardiac exercise as brisk walk or workout in gym. During one super busy phase I went through, really crazy time, I started putting the letter ‘S’ on rare spaces in my diary. Quizzed by my friends, my reply was “depending on the moment, I will decide if ‘S’ means shower, sex or sleep!”

The two things that work for me the most are: – drowning myself into creative works like painting, poetry, or pottery. One can consider turning housework or office-work, into creative expression. The second thing is to surround myself by Nature, like just gazing into the sea waves, or staring at the tree leaves whilst lying on the soil, or smelling flowers, or a brisk walk in the countryside, or enjoying your grandchildren who are also a gift of nature.

Nowadays, through media and evolution, most women are learning, more and more than before, to combat the threats. We recognize that we do not need to be suppressed, submissive nor sub-servant. We have learnt to protect and defend our needs and rights, yet have also retained our compassionate nature. We have found our voices and are aware of our true human strengths, amidst our limitations.

Truly, we are not just worriers, but wonderful heroic Warriors!