“2020 was the year in which I turned 34 and it is this year that I was finally officially diagnosed with stage three endometriosis …“
The start of my teens brought about the biggest changes in my life. This change for many was a normal and a smooth transition, everyone was expecting it. My friends and I were all expecting our periods, so was I.
As expected, at 13 I got my period, I thought it was not going to be a big deal, I was in secondary school and like the rest of my friends I just took it in my stride. However, for me it was draining, and I bled a lot. I vomited, I missed school, I felt unwell.
My Mum was worried and took me to a doctor, he said its normal and to stop being a drama queen.
Years went by and every month I was in agony and I was starting to feel weaker and to look paler. I couldn’t enjoy my normal everyday life because I felt so weak. I was again taken to the doctor and this time prescribed iron tablets and advised to eat red meat. I did as I was told.
One day a few years later whilst in post-secondary school I passed out, I was rushed to hospital where I was hospitalised and given a blood transfusion. I was bleeding profusely with clots and my body was very weak. I was seen by a gynae and told to start using the contraceptive pill to control heavy periods.
I married at the tender age of 19. As many other women do when we get married, I stopped the pill to try and have a baby and to start a family. The first year, the second year and the third year of my marriage went by and nothing happened – I didn’t get pregnant – also I had stopped the pill so my periods were very heavy and the pain was debilitating.
I again went to a gynaecologist who told me I needed a laparoscopy because something was not right. I had it done and the results were horrific.
I was told all my pelvis is scarred, with a 8cm fibroid and a 5cm chocolate cyst (endometrioma) stuck together with adhesions, my bowels stuck to my ovaries, bladder stuck to uterus and a complete mess. I asked if I could have another operation to open up my adhesions, but I was refused. They only removed the fibroid.
Life went on, I went back on the pill. By now four years had gone by. During this time, I was also diagnosed with more fibroids and these caused even more pain. Whatever I do, I seem to be in constant pain all the time.
We were eligible for IVF which I attempted four times with no success. I begged for another removal of fibroids, for hormonal treatment to shrink them, for many things, I felt like no one cared or listened to what I needed.
My marriage turned out to be abusive, my husband wanted kids, he started blaming me for not taking care of myself before I married him and that I must have known about my health issues before. He used to hit me on my tummy, he used to tell me you’re not a woman but a rock, he used to tell me I am good for nothing, he used to treat me like garbage, he used to tell me I’m not really a women because my womb is dead. I used to cry and cry because I believed it was all my fault.
In the meantime, blood and pain remained a problem. I received a report saying that I am suffering from primary infertility. I felt that it labelled me as infertile and this really affected me psychologically. I got mentally affected so badly that I gave up the hope of ever becoming a mother. It seems like an impossible dream for me. I am still struggling with this. I cannot see pregnant women; I feel my guts melt and I become sick. The abuse and pain I endured was too much.
I sat in endless appointments in Mater Dei Hospital waiting for my turn for the ultrasound, watching and hearing other women chatting about baby names and pregnancies. I would give anything to have a child.
This year 2020, I turned 34 and it is this year that I was finally officially was diagnosed with stage three endometriosis.
I finally found a gynae that listened to me and who understands my pain and we agreed to work together on this and to try to solve my endometriosis issues. I had seen three different gynaes but none of them had ever mentioned endometriosis. Even during IVF they never bothered to check what the underlying problem could have been.
I want to take this opportunity to appeal to mothers who have daughters, aunts, siblings and all you girls out there – please if a young lady is having extraordinary period pain please listen to her – help her get a diagnosis and do not let her continue living in pain and without a solution. The years I wasted have damaged my insides and now it is probably too late for me. I will be seeking therapy to accept what I have but it is still very hard. We are all humans. Do not let any health professionals put you down or brush you off. When I was 24 I was even offered a hysterectomy, but I didn’t give up, I kept wanting a proper diagnosis. Ask for a second, third and even fourth opinion. Although I am still childless at 34yrs I believe that one day with the help of this new gynaecologist I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and I will hopefully one day possibly also get what my heart desires.
If you have experienced endometriosis or any other experience and you would like to share with our readers either in your name or anonymously please contact us or send us an email to [email protected]
