My sex does not define me. Men of all ages assume that as females we are soft, emotional, craving their commitment…when we’re not!
I’m sure many can agree that men like to talk down to women, for some it’s almost intrinsic, they might not realise it or like the idea of it, but they practically do it naturally. I see so many men (and sometimes even women) just assume that they know who we are because we’re female; they think we’re ‘soft’, ‘emotional’, ‘craving their commitment’, when we’re not.
My sex does not define me. Our characters are not defined by our sex, how is that so difficult to understand, this of course goes both ways but for now I’ll focus on women. I witness men of all ages doing this and it’s become tiring.
Recently I was on a date with a man in his early twenties and he began telling me how all us women are just naturally so beautiful and soft, that when we’re out we cannot be compared to boys because they’re so rowdy whilst we’re so passive and collected. He further told me that when he drinks whiskey he’s “emotional like a woman” and that all girls have no sense of direction.
None of this sat well with me, safe to say I didn’t speak to him again after this. Most of all though, I was shocked, shocked that a young man brought up in today’s society and raised around women could think like this, with this idea that women are just complacent bystanders made to calm and impress everyone with our “beautiful aura.” News flash, we’re not.
We are people, we are different, we all have varied characters, values and ideals that make us who we are. No two women are the same and our (or anyone’s) personality should not be judged by the preconceived ideals set by societal institutions – and this applies to everything. Sex, race and sexual orientation are all trivial and they don’t define us.
The sad thing is that he meant a lot of what he said as compliments, he clearly wasn’t looking to get to know me as a unique person, rather, he was looking for someone that fits his stereotypes. Young girls should feel special because of their differences, not because they fit the “mould.”
Don’t get me wrong, I’m proud to be a woman, but that pride comes from the fact that women have fought so hard throughout history to gain recognition and respect. I’m sure many of those women had independent ideas that conflicted with those of others, I’m also sure that some of these women were soft and emotional whilst others were tough and stoic (former not being better than the latter or vice versa).
Furthermore, these stereotypes that people keep playing into set dangerous precedents, they create intense expectations that not everyone wants to conform to – for instance the misconception that girls should wear dresses whilst boys are restricted to trousers, or this craze that all women want to be mothers – it’s unacceptable, unrealistic and simply unfair.
Another stereotype I was recently subjected to was again from a young man who assumed what I wanted and rather than asking me if he was right, he flat out told me what ‘I wanted’ (which by the way, was not at all accurate) and gave me a speech about how it didn’t align with his desires. I tried to explain that he was totally off-base but I can assure you that he didn’t listen.
Everyone must acknowledge that we have valuable and important voices, we deserve to be listened to as equals because we are. Ultimately, being a man does not make you good, being a woman does not make you good – character and intelligence, only, should determine the way one is perceived, not sex.
Moreover, the way I think society should combat the problem of stereotypical thinking is through education. Of course, I acknowledge the strides women have made and I intend for us to continue to progress. Children should be taught about more women in history who have changed the world, like Susan B. Anthony and Marie Curie. They should also be taught that both men and women can do, be, wear and say what they want, also love who they want as long as it causes no harm.
I also believe that people shouldn’t act ignorant towards the stereotypes – notice them, call them out, teach and learn. Like that, we will move forward.
About the Author
A.S.T. is a 19 year old woman who’s currently studying and is very interested in and passionate about human rights. She is strongly against all forms of discrimination and through this she will try her best to vocalise her opinions in an impactful way.
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