The Orgasm Gap – Does it Truly Exist?

The orgasm gap refers to the difference in frequency of orgasms between straight men and women. Although the term ‘orgasm gap’ has only been around for the last decade, gender inequality surrounding sexuality and sexual pleasure is not a recent phenomenon.  Female sexual pleasure and arousal was misunderstood in the medical field for many years and diagnosed as ‘hysteria’. In fact, some sources document that the vibrator was created as a cure to this ‘illness’ and as a way for women not to remain sexually repressed!

The clitoris, which we know today is mainly responsible for female sexual pleasure, was not well-researched and given enough importance. In 1948, on the 25^th anniversary edition of ‘Gray’s Anatomy’ (an anatomy textbook for medical students, not the soap opera 🙂 ) one of the editors erased the clitoris completely from the diagram illustrating female external genitalia. Fortunately, more recently a number of medical researchers have been working to change that. In 2005, Helen O’Connell, an Australian urologist, managed to develop a diagram of the full anatomy of the clitoris which shows that around 90% of the organ lies beneath the surface. The whole structure is made up of erectile tissue which swells up when the woman is aroused. Moreover, the clitoris has around 8000 nerve endings, making it 14 times more sensitive than the penis!!! This has important implications for female sexual pleasure because it indicates that most women can orgasm through stimulation of the clitoris rather than through penetrative sex.

So, why are straight women not having as many orgasms as straight men?

A large study published in 2018, with over 50,000 adult participants, showed that 65% of heterosexual women usually or always orgasm when sexually intimate in comparison to bisexual women (66%), lesbian women (86%), bisexual men (88%), and heterosexual men (95%). Therefore, there is a 30% difference in the frequency of orgasms between straight men and women!

What are the main factors contributing to the orgasm gap?

Research indicates that these can be:

• Cultural myths and misunderstandings that surround female anatomy and female sexual pleasure.
• Sexual intercourse (penis to vagina) as the primary source of sexual pleasure.
• The belief that sex without penetration is not a valid sexual experience.
• The focus on sexual performance, not on pleasure and intimacy.
• Problems with body shame and body image and not being comfortable in one’s own skin.
• The need for the sexual experience to be over, causing women to ‘fake it’.

How can we change this imbalance?

• Know your body: We need to brush up on our knowledge of female sexual anatomy. It is important to take a compact mirror and look at what our vulva and clitoris look like and how these parts of our bodies change throughout our lifespan, including after childbirth and menopause.
• Know your body and how it responds to sexual stimuli and how this can change with major life events.
• Have a conversation with your partner about what feels right during sex. Explore together how to focus on sexual pleasure rather than intercourse and penetrative sex.
• Be sexually assertive especially on issues of consent
• Create space and time for sexual intimacy to happen.

Hopefully the big O will be a regular occurrance for all 🙂

References:

Fredrick, D. A., St.John, K., Garcia, J. R., & Lloyd, E. A. (2018). Differences in orgasm frequency among gay, lesbian, bisexual and heterosexual men and women in a U.S. national sample. Archives of Sexual Behaviour, 47, 273-288.

Gusakova, S., Conley, T. D., Piemonte, J. L., & Matsick, J. L. (2020). The role of women’s orgasm goal pursuit in women’s orgasm occurrence. Personality and Individual Differences, 155, 109628.

Lentz, A. M., & Zaikman, Y. (2021). The big “O”: Sociocultural influences on orgasm frequency and sexual satisfaction in women. Sexuality and Culture, 25, 1096-1123.

Rolfes, M. (2020). Minding the orgasm gap. Uloop Inc.

Segraves, C., & Freeman, K. (2022). The orgasm gap and how to address it. Uloop Inc.

Willis, M., Jozkowski, K. N., Lo, W-J., & Sanders, S. A. (2018). Are women’s orgasms hindered by phallocentric imperatives? Archives of Sexual Behaviour, 47, 1565-1576.

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