Netflix Sex Education Season 2 finale opens with a sex scene between Lily and Ola who had in the previous season admitted they did not want to remain “just friends”. All seems well until Ola unzips Lily’s silver skirt and inserts her hand. “Ow” Lily shouts, “Did I do something wrong?” asks Ola? “It’s not you, it’s me. I have something called vaginismus. My vagina is like a venus flytrap”.
Vaginismus, or what is now part of the Genito-Pelvic Pain Penetration Disorders consists of an involuntary spasm of the vaginal muscles causing the vagina to close, resulting in penetration being painful, difficult or at times impossible. The severity of the condition varies from an inability to have penetrative sex, to problems with having a PAP smear during a gynaecological consultation to simply inserting a tampon.
The number of women with genito-pelvic pain penetration disorder is unknown but research suggests that around 15% of women experience pain during intercourse. This problem can present other challenges including a sense of loneliness and depression and significant difficulties in romantic relationships. Moreover, painful sex and vaginismus can affect a woman’s sexual desire and can make her feel undesirable and less of a woman.
What can cause vaginismus?
Studies indicate that there are several factors that can contribute to vaginismus. The list includes both physical and psychological difficulties. Psychologically a woman can experience anxiety, disgust, feelings of shame, fear of painful sex and past sexual trauma. Cultural and religious factors can also come into play and sex education in schools and at home can influence a woman’s adult sexual experiences.
Physical difficulties can include urinary tract infections, vaginal yeast infections and vulvar vestibulitis, an inflammatory condition that is associated with a burning sensation in the genital area. Also, during menopause a woman can experience atrophic vaginitis as the vaginal area gets thinner and dryer due to a decrease in oestrogen. This condition can make intercourse painful because of a decrease in lubrication produced during sexual arousal.
In this Netflix episode of Sex Education, Ola hears Lily explain what vaginismus is about for her. “I think I put too much pressure on myself” Lily explains. Then she brings out her kit of 5 pink dilators and describes that so far, she only managed to insert the smallest one which is the size of a small finger. However, this sex scene ends in fireworks as the couple still manage to both reach orgasm by concentrating on sensual touch and mutual masturbation.
Is there anything that can be done for this condition?
Vaginismus can be treated both from a psychological and a physical perspective. Initially, a gynaecological examination is usually needed to rule out any of the biological problems described above and give medical treatment if indicated. Kegel exercises, pelvic floor muscle strengthening and control and use of vaginal dilators or vibrators can also help.
From a psychological perspective, counselling and sex therapy can help a woman and her partner focus on sexual pleasure rather than penetrative sex. Ideas on sexual shame and sexual pleasure are explored and sexual trauma is addressed if present. Sometimes counselling will focus on psychoeducation and challenging ideas about female sexual pleasure. Relaxation techniques including breathing exercises and mindfulness can also help to reduce anxiety and focus on sensual touch and pleasure rather than penetrative sex and performance.
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Anna Catania (M.Cons. PG(Dip) Psychosexual and relationship therapy is a warranted counsellor specialised in the area if sex and relationships. She provides counselling to individuals and couples who are having difficulties with sexuality, relationships and intimacy.
Click here to check out Anna’s full bio as well as a list of all her Wham published articles
