Following the publication of an article I wrote a few days ago named Online Schooling in Malta and its Devastating Effects on Working Mothers, certain women reacted negatively to it, stating that the effects of online schooling is not just being felt by working mothers, but by all mothers as well as fathers. And they were right. As a writer I focused on the devastating effects on women, forgetting the many fathers that are actively involved in their own children’s upbringing on all levels, including their education, and for this I apologise. One particular father reached out to me in reaction to my previous article. He shared the struggles that fathers online schooling children are currently facing…
“Fathers are suffering through this situation as much as mothers are. I work on shift basis, and most of the time after a night shift I have to stay up with my 4 children, helping and supervising them during online school, instead of resting. I feel like I’m losing my mind as well as my own health…”
Evidently stressed, this father, who chose to stay anonymous, continued…
“I am 100% in favour of equality, equal pay, and anything that has to do with women being treated in the same way that men are, and that is exactly how it should always be. However, with those ‘fathers’ who don’t carry their own responsibilities are being penalised those who like me take full responsibility, who support women by being hands-on at home and with our children. I feel sad, angry and betrayed…”
The father continued to explain why he feels that when it comes to online education planning, parents were totally forgotten, especially at this day and age where both parents are mostly working…
“How can a 4 year old boy be expected to follow online lessons every day along with his other siblings? Why is it that even though we try to keep up and sometimes leave our children with their grandparents, we are contacted due to internet issues that they are experiencing? If we are at work how can we keep this up? And let us not forget: not all grandparents know how to use the internet and Teams. It is such a tough situation that we are living in, I feel totally exhausted…”
His wife also joined in on the conversation, explaining that they both work full time, and no matter how hard they are trying to keep their 4 children up to date in their education, they are struggling and are feeling overwhelmed…
“We are exhausted. I’m at work for a long time during the day. I keep myself informed about my children’s education and all that is going on. My husband comes back from a 12 hour night shift and has to refrain from resting because our children, especially our youngest, needs constant attention during his online schooling schedule. Children who don’t attend are being marked as absent. Even when taking into consideration teleworking (if the workplace allows such flexibility), working while supervising children during teleworking is not feasible. One can either focus on their own work or on their children’s work. That’s the reality…”
While both of them understand that possibly due to data protection, lessons cannot be pre-recorded, such a method which was adapted at the beginning of the pandemic allowed more flexibility that catered for working parents, allowing them to create their own routine based on their own needs…
“Pre-recorded lessons allowed us parents to go to work with our mind at rest. Upon returning home from work, we could then focus 100% on our children’s education where we could take our time to supervise and make sure they are doing their work in the best way that they could”.
One thing that we have definitely learned during this COVID-19 pandemic is to value emotions over material things. By this I don’t mean ‘letting go of jobs to focus on education’…everything is important, and jobs are essential for the upbringing of children and for their quality of life. However, as a nation we need to focus on what is most important…we are all living through this pandemic together. The least we can do is to promote understanding: understanding at the workplace by allowing more flexibility for the parents; understanding at schools where we reduce the expectations on the children and their parents; understanding and compassion for those who are feeling over-exhausted and overwhelmed. We can only get through this in a sane way if we’re all in it together.
If you too are or know fathers online schooling children along with the mothers, write to us, share your concerns and struggles by sending us an email at [email protected]
Claire Galea is a mum of three currently reading for a Degree in Nursing at the Faculty of Health Sciences, University of Malta, as a mature student. She is keen about holistic patient-centered care as well as public education about health-related subjects, which she frequently writes about on Wham as a Content Writer and Website Editor.
Claire is also passionate about spreading awareness on the negative effects that domestic abuse leaves on its victims’ mental, emotional, social and physical wellbeing. She is the author of two downloadable ebooks, namely Heal Your Life Forever and 5 Simple Steps To Creating The Life Of Your Dreams.
Click here to check out Claire’s full bio as well as a list of all her Wham published articles
