“I have to tell you. I almost had an abortion during this pregnancy”, were the words I confided to my Obstetrician during a routine ultrasound. What I didn’t expect to see, was the look of horror wash over her face, as though I had admitted to some heinous, unforgivable crime.
Weeks after giving birth to my first child, I sat on my bathroom floor bawling my eyes out in grief. Grief over the life I felt I was losing, as I clutched yet another positive pregnancy test. I didn’t know how I could take care of another baby. My husband was as overwhelmed as I was, but wanted us to have this baby.
It was maybe a day or two after, at most, that I expressed my wish to make an appointment at an abortion clinic in London. My husband respected my wish and made it clear that he would support me in my choice, because it was my body.
The appointment was scheduled and travel arrangements were finalized but when the day came, just as it was time to make our way to the airport, I just sat in the car and thought to myself that I couldn’t do it. Instead, he took me on a holiday. A holiday that allowed me some breathing space, some time to assess the pros and cons and ultimately, clear my head.
Years later, I am grateful that I had the opportunity to make a life-giving decision. I am grateful to have had a supportive husband who passed no judgement and stood as a pillar of strength and wisdom, as a life partner should when life’s circumstances may be challenging.
The “typical” woman who has had an abortion is a lot like me, although most often, not married. She is a twenty-something mum caring for a toddler. Finances are tight and she has plans and dreams for her life. She’s already struggling to care for her son or daughter and put food on the table each night. I had the support of a good man but many women do not. Unintended pregnancies can occur in the midst of very messy circumstances and contrary to popular belief, more than half (58%) of women who have abortions already have at least one child. The woman who has, is also likely not a teenager. Statistics show that over 60% of women who have, are above 25 years of age.
I am sharing my story, to help empower and support women to make pro-choice decisions – albeit, carefully. We need to equip women with the tools to make these life changing decisions in an appropriate and controlled environment. Above all, we need to give women the freedom of choice.
Do you have an experience you’d like to share with us at Wham, either in your name or anonymously? We’d love to hear from you! Contact us or send us an email at [email protected]
