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power imbalance

Suppose one trending issue regularly appears to surface in female-based community groups. In that case, the trope of successful women attract weak men. Of course, we all know at least one beautiful, intelligent, successful woman who never seems to find men who are anywhere near her calibre.

It appears, for whatever reason, that the most desirable women often inexplicably end up with abusers, cheaters, or downright losers. Have you ever wondered, in a state of bewilderment, why these strong, independent women seem to struggle so much when seeking healthy relationships?

From what I have gathered, it’s a mix of things. However, there always seem to be three common denominators.

1. Men are from Mars, and women are from Venus.

In short, men and women don’t search for the same qualities when choosing their partners. When finding a spouse, most men do not really care about the traits of strength and success that women do. A sparkling career and social ranking are high on the list of qualities most women look for; these are signs of strength and stability.

For men, well, these accomplishments may be impressive feats, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that they find such factors attractive. On the contrary, the weak man will often find this level of success and independence intimidating and may choose not to pursue the courtship. Unless, of course, there are ulterior motives.

2. Strength is subjective.

There is strength in individuality.

There is strength in contentment.

There is strength in independence.

There is strength in personal milestones, career achievements – and much more.

All of these statements are valid, but the truth is that strength, much like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.

3. Strong women tend to come across as more guarded.

This is primarily due to past personal experiences. When you have been burned by love, questioning everyone’s intentions becomes second nature. The thought of handling another relationship is scary. Still, those four walls will eventually prevent you from opening yourself up to love healthily. So let your guard down, learn from past experiences and mistakes, but don’t be naive about it.

Weak men are often looking for one of these three things; financial or social ranking benefits, a trophy, or someone they can control. Weak men want someone successful to control, particularly a strong and assertive woman because that’s the only way some of them can feel ‘big’.

They want this type of woman as a trophy because they care very deeply about how the public perceives them. They cling to the idea that they will be seen as strong and successful because of the type of woman they are dating. These men don’t want to be wanted. They want to be needed. This generally requires a lot of manipulation and gaslighting to break the strong and successful woman down, mentally and emotionally, to where they want them to be. Unfortunately, the perfect candidates for these types of men are generally always independent women who, on paper, do not really need a man but desperately want one.

There is an old saying that says that any man who must declare that he is king isn’t one at all. In other words, empty vessels make the most noise. My observation has always been that the weakest, most insecure men are often the most aggressive when it comes to pursuing women, as well as the loudest when talking about their personal achievements. It is also a common misperception that these weak men go for vulnerable women; it’s quite the opposite – these pathological, narcissistic guys want a woman who has a lot to give. These types of men are generally the product of an overbearing, overly well-intentioned mother – so they’re always on the lookout for someone steady and strong that they can count on to take care of them – particularly someone empathetic who can nurture their child-like needs. I firmly believe that they always favour a self-sufficient woman, so they don’t have to take care of the woman’s needs in return.

This type of man will never be an asset to your life. On the contrary, he is a drain on your resources because he will eventually consume everything you have to offer: time, access to your biological clock, emotional energy, money and professional evolvement.

Hopefully, this article will help you understand why the ‘strong woman weak man’ relationship doesn’t work. I am almost certain that most readers will resonate with some of the patterns associated with the weak man. Learn to value yourself because the social pressure to be partnered is heavy, so do it for the right reasons and ask yourself, “am I simply in love, with love?”


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