Having sex during the pandemic may not be as easy as before, but with careful planning you can bring sexual intimacy back into your lives…
Life has become somewhat bizarre; in everything we do, we have had to adapt to using the same space. Every room in the house has become a place to work, talk, entertain ourselves, listen to lectures, eat, discuss.
Some couples are using this time to reconnect, spend time together and with their family. Others haven’t had it as easy, especially if their relationship was already on the brink of trouble. Parents, especially those having younger children, have an extra challenge on their hands as not only do they have their own emotions to deal with but they also have to deal with those of their children.
Just as it has affected all areas in our life, the pandemic has also affected our sex lives substantially. Some couples have used sex to establish a sense of normality in a time where nothing feels normal. Others have experienced a lack of sexual intimacy, especially with generally higher levels of anxiety and feelings of helplessness.
In such a stressful and routine-less time, sex needs to be planned and is unlikely to just happen. Most sex therapists recommend scheduling sex even in times without quarantine, especially when one or both partners are going through a period of being tired, stressed and overwhelmed. Parents must understand that, especially with kids being in the same space and always at home, sex will probably not happen without prior planning as other matters will take priority.
Practical tips for having sex when kids are at home:
- Communicate: Sit down and decide on the frequency of sex, if it helps block time in your respective calendars.
- Be innovative and creative: Try sex toys (if you are both comfortable with it) and also try your best create an atmosphere that is intimate.
- Lock the bedroom door: You need way of preventing kids from simply walking in. Put on some music. Also make sure the kids are distracted and occupied with an activity that absorbs them. Or just do it when everyone has been put to bed and the house is free from distractions.
- Single parents or those who are currently away from their partner can use online means of having sex like sexting and facetime. Obviously, it is important consider online safety measures when using these platforms. Always be cautious.
- Be flexible: If on the day planned you are too tired or overwhelmed to have sex then use this time create intimacy in other ways. Check in with one another, see a movie or have a cuddle before bed.
Although difficult and bizarre, these unprecedented times can give us an opportunity to be gentle with ourselves and one another, to reconnect in different ways and to reach out.
Do you have any tips you’d like to share based on your own experience in having sex during the pandemic? Contact us or send us an email at [email protected]
Is having sex during the pandemic safe? This is what health.com had to say about it…
Anna Catania (M.Cons. PG(Dip) Psychosexual and relationship therapy is a warranted counsellor specialised in the area if sex and relationships. She provides counselling to individuals and couples who are having difficulties with sexuality, relationships and intimacy.
Click here to check out Anna’s full bio as well as a list of all her Wham published articles
