Lately a discussion arose on the Facebook group Women for Women (Malta) with regards to breastfeeding, where a woman claimed that while she is currently dealing with a separation, she discovered that breastfeeding her baby in court is not allowed. Other women confirmed that they had experienced the same situation, including a mother who had been chosen as a witness. She was not only denied permission to take her two month old breastfed baby with her, but also told that refusing to attend would cost her a hefty fine.
It is absurd that in 2021 we are still denying basic needs to women and their babies.
Recommendations
According to WHO, breastmilk is the ideal food for infants. It is safe, clean and contains antibodies which help protect against many common childhood illnesses. Breastmilk provides all the energy and nutrients that the infant needs for the first months of life, and it continues to provide up to half or more of a child’s nutritional needs during the second half of the first year, and up to one third during the second year of life.
WHO and UNICEF recommend that children are exclusively breastfed for the first 6 months of life – meaning no other foods or liquids are provided, including water. Infants should be breastfed on demand – that is as often as the child wants, day and night. No bottles, teats or pacifiers should be used.
Bearing these recommendations in mind, why do we have the tendency to make it even harder for mothers to breastfeed, should they choose to do so exclusively? Isn’t motherhood already challenging in itself already? And then, ironically, we wonder while perinatal mental health issues are on the rise…
Mothers Shamed For Breastfeeding…
No matter how much breastfeeding is recommended as the best and most natural option, breastfeeding mothers are still shamed to this day. This is in fact a very common issue that exclusively breastfeeding mothers face on a day to day basis, where quite frequently, they are frowned upon, asked to cover up, asked to feed their infants in the bathroom, asked to leave, or in worse situations, verbally abused publicly.
As a mother of three who chose to breastfeed exclusively for the first 6 months of my babies’ lives, I have had a share of similar situations, especially with my first born. Being inexperienced at the time didn’t help. In their first few months, babies go through growth spurs. With their expanding stomachs, demand for more breastmilk increases, and this may cause infants to be frustrated at times whilst the quantity and flow of milk is still being established. It is quite hard to breastfeed a fussy infant. It is much harder to do so whilst being observed and scrutinised for “exposing the boob”.
No, it is not appropriate to go feed an infant whilst sitting on the toilet seat in a restaurant, confined between four narrow walls where you can barely breathe, let alone be comfortable feeding your baby.
No, it is not appropriate to cover your baby’s head with a cloth so as to avoid someone getting a glimpse of the boob while it struggles to feed.
No, it is not appropriate to be asked to leave just because breastfeeding an infant may look ‘disgusting’ or ‘sexual’ to some.
The best way to avoid being critisised or shamed for breastfeeding in public is to normalise it. As past or present breastfeeding mums we should fully support each other. We shouldn’t accept hiding away as if we are criminals while feeding our infants. We shouldn’t be asked to use breastfeeding rooms unless we are more comfortable breastfeeding in there. We should be free to breastfeed wherever we deem best. Breastfeeding is a beautiful and natural thing that shouldn’t be taken away from us just because some deem breasts as sexual objects.
And whilst on this subject I would also like to mention the issue that many breastfeeding mothers face during the famous ‘Well Baby Clinic’ 8 month old checkup for their babies. I have experienced this myself with all 3 of my babies, and I must say that with my first 2 it was very overwhelming and depressing to say the least!
Picture this…your baby is 8 months old. You have managed to jump through all the hurdles experienced during the first months of your baby’s breastfeeding journey. You feel so satisfied and proud of how much your baby is growing, especially since you know you had been exclusively breastfeeding your baby for the first 6 months of life as recommended! So you go in and you are asked what your baby is eating. You mention foods…
“Wow, what a healthy looking baby! So chubby and strong!”
Then you mention the fact that you’re still breastfeeding…
Suddenly, your baby is not growing up enough, you are spoiling him, he is not a baby anymore, you should just feed him foods now, you should stop breastfeeding as it is no longer beneficial!
Dear professionals, please note…
From the age of 6 months, children should begin eating safe and adequate complementary foods while continuing to breastfeed for up to 2 years and beyond.
WHO
Unfortunately this issue has been going on for decades now. I experienced this 20 years ago with my 1st baby. I was left devastated, sad and anxious, on top of an already diagnosed post-natal depression. I experienced it again 12 years ago with my 2nd baby, where I was also left questioning myself on whether I was doing wrong continuing breastfeeding my baby. And once again I experienced it 6 years ago with my 3rd. Thankfully, this time around, I went in ready to just ignore what they were about to tell me, and so it didn’t leave such a negative impact. But to this day I still read about some breastfeeding mothers who go to their 8 month Well Baby Clinic checkup and come out devastated.
It is a requirement for all professionals in the health sector to keep up with the latest studies. By being passive and ignoring advancements in the health sector, some professionals are doing a disservice in our community. Recent studies show that breastmilk is still beneficial up to 2 years when complimented with solid foods, so do not push mothers to stop breastfeeding or make them look as if they are mistreating their babies for breastfeeding them for longer than 6 months. Mothers should be able to breastfeed whenever, wherever, and for how long they think is best for them and their babies.
Mothers Shamed For NOT Breastfeeding…
Whilst on this topic we should also not forget that unfortunately there are mothers who do not manage to breastfeed their babies for one reason or another, or else they choose not to. Breastfeeding is not for everyone, and everyone should respect that without shaming a bottle-feeding mother.
As women we should work together to end the shame with regards to our feeding choices. Supporting each other is the best way to go. If we see a mother being shamed for breastfeeding her baby, whatever his age, we should stand up for her and encourage her not to give up just because. And if a mother is shamed for choosing or not being able to breastfeed, we should support her and reassure her that she is doing the best for her own and her baby’s wellbeing.
One last piece of advice…
Just because a mother looks happy doesn’t mean she is doing well. Many mothers unfortunately experience postnatal depression and find those first months extremely challenging. Beneath our smile and twinkling eyes we may be hiding tears and sadness but we try to be strong for our babies and carry on. Let’s be kind and offer support to mothers by trying to help out even in the simplest ways. A simple kind word or gesture may actually stop that mother from reaching the point of no return.
Do you have an experience you’d like to share with us at wham, either in your name or anonymously? Contact us or send us an email at [email protected]
Claire Galea is a mum of three currently reading for a Degree in Nursing at the Faculty of Health Sciences, University of Malta, as a mature student. She is keen about holistic patient-centered care as well as public education about health-related subjects, which she frequently writes about on Wham as a Content Writer and Website Editor.
Claire is also passionate about spreading awareness on the negative effects that domestic abuse leaves on its victims’ mental, emotional, social and physical wellbeing. She is the author of two downloadable ebooks, namely Heal Your Life Forever and 5 Simple Steps To Creating The Life Of Your Dreams.
Click here to check out Claire’s full bio as well as a list of all her Wham published articles
