Today, we’re delving into a topic that’s on the minds of many parents: the adventure of raising pre-teens. Ah, the tween years! It’s a time of growth, change, and a fair share of emotional rollercoasters—both for kids and parents. Let’s unpack this exciting and challenging phase together in this tween-parent guide.
The Tween Transformation: What’s Happening?
Pre-teens, typically between the ages of 9 and 12, are in a fascinating phase. It’s like one foot is still in childhood while the other steps towards adolescence. They’re growing quite fast, both physically and emotionally. This period is marked by significant changes:
- Physical Growth: They shoot up in height, and their bodies start changing. It’s puberty knocking on the door!
- Emotional Swings: Thanks to hormonal changes, mood swings are as frequent and unpredictable as sudden weather changes.
- Cognitive Leaps: Their thinking becomes more complex. Suddenly, they have opinions on everything—and I mean everything.
Navigating New Waters: Conversations on Sexuality and Exposure
As children grow, their curiosity about the world, including topics like relationships, sexuality, and even drugs, blooms. It’s a bit like them taking a peek into a world we’re not sure they’re ready for yet, but it’s a natural part of growing up. Here’s how you can navigate these waters:
- Keep the Conversation Light and Open: Think of it like a casual chat over a snack. Stay relaxed and approachable. If they bring up topics that surprise you, take a deep breath and dive into the conversation with an open mind.
- Create a Trusting Environment: Let them know it’s okay to ask questions and share their feelings. Remind them that they can talk to you about anything—no topic is too big, too small, or too awkward.
- Offer Honest, Age-Appropriate Info: It’s all about giving them the right information at the right time. If you’re not sure about something, it’s totally okay to say you’ll check and get back to them. After all, we’re all learning, right?
- Balance Facts with Values: It’s important to give them the facts but also share your family values and talk about respect, consent, and safety in relationships.
- Embrace the Awkwardness: Let’s face it, these talks can be a bit awkward, but that’s okay! Laughing about the awkwardness can help lighten the mood and make these conversations less daunting.
The Parenting Dance: Finding the Balance
Now, for us parents, this time can be, well, a bit of a challenge. It’s a delicate dance between providing support and letting them spread their wings. Here are a few tips from fellow parents:
Francesca & Sheila: “Choose your battles wisely! Remember what it was like being a pre-teen yourself. Sometimes, standing your ground on every little thing can backfire. Focus on what really matters.”
Miriam: “Learn to ‘close one eye’ on the small stuff, like messy rooms. Save the confrontations for the big issues. Also, make your home a welcoming place for them and their friends. If they love spending time at home, it’s a win-win!”
Roxanne: “Teach them independence—and not just about doing chores. Help them learn to stand up for themselves and be kind and resilient. Use positive reinforcement and treat them like young adults to some extent. Show them the joy in life. And I always tell my kids: ‘Work hard, party harder!”
Finding Professional Support: Recommended Child Psychologists and Counsellors
Navigating the tween years isn’t just a journey for parents and their children; sometimes, having a professional to talk to can make all the difference. Whether it’s seeking advice, understanding complex emotions, or simply having a safe space for your pre-teen to express themselves, here are some recommended professionals who are highly regarded by our community:
- Karen Decelis at The Cove Therapy in Birkirkara is someone we’ve personally had great experiences with. She’s insightful and compassionate and really connects with pre-teens and their families. Contact: 79397852
- The Team at The Talking Therapy Place, located in Attard, offers a warm, welcoming environment where children and parents can find the support they need. Their team approach ensures that there’s likely a perfect fit for everyone’s unique needs. Website: thetalkingtherapyplace.com
- Angelle Vella, based in The Place of Growth in Birkirkara, is known for her intuitive and empathetic methods. She helps children navigate through their emotions and challenges in a comforting way. Contact: 99885960
In Conclusion: Embracing the Journey
Raising pre-teens is like navigating the Dingli Cliffs—it requires careful steps, patience, and an appreciation for the view, even when it’s foggy. Remember, every child is unique, and so is every parenting journey. Embrace the changes, support each other, and keep the lines of communication open.
To all the parents out there, you’re doing a fantastic job. And to the pre-teens, we see you, we hear you, and we’re here for you.
How’s your journey with your pre-teen going? Feel free to share your stories and tips with us—let’s support each other in this beautiful, sometimes bumpy, ride called parenting.
Rebecca Galea is the marketing and web design expert for the Women for Women Foundation. She’s a single mum of two and has always been passionate about empowering and helping women in any way she can.
