They say 1 in every 4 women miscarry… I had never heard that before, until it happened to me. But when experiencing recurrent miscarriages, do you have to settle with considering yourself so unlucky that you will always be that 1 in every 4 women who will miscarry?
That was what I was told when I had my first 2 miscarriages. I was so heartbroken, trying to figure out why this keeps on happening to me and what could I have done wrong. Thousands of questions in my head; questions you never get an answer to…
You try to seek help from people who have gone through similar situations, but it seems that no one really speaks about it. Even if they did go through a miscarriage, most of the times no one would know.
After several tests done at the hospital, everything resulted to be normal with both me and my partner. Keeping in mind that these tests took several months, this equals almost a year of suspense, not knowing what’s next and when I will be given the go ahead to try again. I wasn’t going to give up that easily. I wanted to become a mum so bad! Then we got the green light…all was okay. I was told to just take aspirin next time.
Third pregnancy, third time lucky I thought.
We had our first ultrasound. We had never had one in our previous 2 pregnancies, as we lost them before 8 weeks, but this time we made it! We heard that beautiful heartbeat! We were over the moon with joy, as you can imagine! We thought this was our time now after 2 dreadful years!
Our second gynae appointment arrived 2 weeks after. Nothing, no heartbeat, complete silence. We had lost our baby again. Only people who have gone through the loss of a child can understand the pain a woman goes through when she loses her baby, let alone her third one! I knew something was wrong and no one had answers.
Desperately seeking help I wrote an anonymous post on Women for Women (Malta) on Facebook asking if anyone had been through a similar situation. What did they do? Did they eventually have children? PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME OUT!
And they did!!! A particular wonderful woman spoke of her experience and referred me to a doctor abroad who had seen her when she was going through it herself.
I made an appointment for the next day. To cut the story short, it turned out I did have a condition which could be easily treated and which is very common.
Today we hold the love of our lives in our arms. I wouldn’t be doing so had it not been for Francesca and this woman who commented on my post.
This is why I am sharing my experience here. If I can help just 1 person out there who is going through what I did, I would consider it to be a mission accomplished. It’s not easy putting your feelings and worst experiences out there for the world to see, but if you can help someone by doing it, so be it.
I am most definitely not trying to give false hope to anyone, because what’s meant to be is meant to be, and no doctor will ever change that. But why not try everything you can before considering other options? My heart goes out to all those couples going through similar situations, even if different. Everyone feels their own pain. Honestly, I pray to God every night for the ones I know and the ones I don’t, so they get their own little miracle.
Always keep strong and encourage one another. I wouldn’t have tried and tried all over again if it wasn’t for my partner pushing me and being my support system whenever I hit rock bottom. Faith is key.
Rachael X
If you are experiencing recurrent miscarriages and you’d like to contact Rachael, email us at [email protected] and we will forward her your email so she can get in touch with you.
Awareness on recurrent miscarriages helps all women experiencing the same issue. If you have an experience you’d like to share with us at wham in your name or anonymously, kindly contact us or send us an email at [email protected]
