This anonymous, real-life account sent to WHAM sheds light on the often overlooked reality of C-section recovery, and the physical and emotional challenges women face after childbirth.
I’ve recently had a hysterectomy and oh boy was I in pain?! Thankfully I had a strong support network. But I couldn’t stop thinking about the pain that we women are expected to endure whilst facing life gracefully.
Kudos to all mothers who had a c-section – super women without capes. How can a mother go home after 3 days of a c-section and take care of her baby when her own body is bruised and she is mentally trying to make sense of it all…the fragility, the dependence on others, the fear? And she is expected to be happy and feeling blessed and romantically in love because she has life’s greatest gift!
I am not saying that babies do not bring happiness and joy, but this experience made me realise that us women are so underrated.
The Gap in Support Systems
My hysterectomy was PLANNED and necessary and I was mentally prepared for it and partially prepared for the limitations it would put me in…all of which I am aware that they are temporary. But pregnant mothers who go through a c-section last minute and are dismissed after 3 days? What support systems are in place? How are these women assisted medically, physically, mentally, emotionally as they take care of their little ones? Not everyone is blessed with a support structure and family network like I had.
Whilst in Mater Dei, I felt like a queen (I also felt this when I had my kids). The facilities are designed for your comfort; the nurses and staff are angels; everything is clean. So really, I am not complaining about the healthcare provision. But I feel there is a BIG GAP – that of setting impossibly high standards for women in certain circumstances.
And because most of us women manage through sweat and tears to reach those standards, society fails to realise the fragility and hardships. In moments like these we want to be reassured and validated that it’s normal and it’s ok to be fragile and that there is help available. When will society realise that the impossibly high expectations are also related to our mental well-being which can lead to a spiral of problems even in one’s relationship sometimes?
Rethinking Roles and Responsibilities
When I say the word ‘society’ I mean those in power, men, husbands, partners and family members. I was always of the opinion that there is not enough education about the role of men as fathers and as supportive husbands. We are constantly bombarded by the importance of women in workforce and yet once she is a mother, she must maintain the same standards plus take the new role. And we tell our girls: now life is no longer yours – it must revolve around your kids. I have never heard anyone say that to a man! Why not? It is important to spell it out to men that they too must pull up their socks and carry that mental burden!
I know that I have delved into much deeper subjects than I intended. My main aim was to raise awareness of the help that we need to give women who undergo a c-section and are dealing with a newborn and perhaps other dependents at home. I may be wrong, but I feel that not enough help is available, and because we endure it, the pain is invisible, but nonetheless harmful. This of course then ties with the role of society at large to understand, accept and EDUCATE boys at large.
Do you have an experience you’d like to share with us at Wham, either in your name or anonymously? Contact us! We’d love to hear from you!
