It is undeniable that the abortion debate has been sitting in the hotseat for a while now, but many seem to confuse the term ‘pro-choice’ with ‘pro-abortion’, even though they aren’t the same – or at least the way I see it… Pro-choice to me means exactly what it sounds like. It is about ‘choice’ in the very sense of the word; about recognising that women have the right to say if and when they will bear children and demanding that this right be respected.
Pro-lifers often talk about abortions and people who are pro-choice as if it is enjoyable to see such procedures happen left, right, and centre… not to mention the abrasive effects it leaves behind, (but let’s save that conversation for later). To me, pro-choice is the belief that it is the woman’s choice whether she wants to have an abortion or not, and not the belief that abortions overpower life. In other words, pro-choice does NOT translate into pro-abortion, at least not in my books. If anything, the one thing that both sides of the debate may agree on is that the fewer abortions there are, the better.
This isn’t just about legislation either. Pro-choice is just as much about safeguarding a woman’s right to not abort as it is about her right to abort. And in my opinion, women only choose abortion when they have no choice left – when any other available options have either failed them, or they have been denied them, though this isn’t to say that there aren’t women who simply don’t want kids either.
Funnily enough though, the people who shame women for getting abortions are the same people who turn around and shame teenage mums for having sex and then a child. That’s why pro-choice to me means fighting to grant women the ability to choose if and/or when they will have children.
Speaking solely for myself here, the most I’ve learnt from my “sex-ed” lessons in Secondary School is that condoms are unreliable, contraceptive pills protect you yet can harm you, and that practically everyone and their grandmother has some terrible disease that may or may not kill you, and your only hope is abstinence until marriage. Yet, if this “method” was truly effective, then we wouldn’t have a high rate of teenage births, as statistics have consistently confirmed. As a pro-choice woman – and a young one at that – I believe that women of all ages have the right to access relevant information with regards to sexual health in order to make healthy choices when it comes to their own sexuality.
Many people who argue for the legislation of abortion and who call themselves pro-choice also work towards fighting the social stigma that women cannot be sexual beings just as men are. If a woman becomes pregnant out of wedlock, at a young age, or simply unintentionally, the immediate response is shame. If a woman is pregnant, no matter how or when she got there, she should be greeted with love, support and most importantly, respect. It is no one else’s right beside hers to choose to have safe sex, and to be able to do so without any guilt or shame. And the whole ‘you opened your legs, deal with the consequences’ attitude doesn’t work either. Children shouldn’t be brought into the world as “consequences”. How could you think it’s healthy for a baby to be seen as a punishment, even for a second?
So, unless you’re personally planning to support a child financially and mentally until they’re at least 18 years old, then it shouldn’t be your choice whether a woman chooses to have children or not. And if a woman does get pregnant and wants to keep her baby, being pro-choice means we ensure that said woman has the proper resources to care for the child. And if the woman chooses not to have a baby, then she should still have the rightful access to safe, legal abortions that are free from judgement and guilt.
You probably saw this coming, but pro-choice also includes rebuking the sexual abuse and violence that is oh-so-present in our society. I’ve had older Maltese women share stories with me, reflecting on how different their times were, and how when your husband requested sex, you were expected to simply lay there as your personal pleasure gets dismissed entirely. Times have changed, though women are still all too often pressured or forced into having sex against their will. Odds are every person you know has either been a victim of sexual abuse themselves or knows a person who has. There is nothing cruder that can rob a woman of her ability to control her own body, as if it is not a woman’s right to choose not to have sex and not to have children.
Over the years, the decision of a woman pertaining to the use of her own body has become the subject of endless public debate, mostly propagated by those who couldn’t even walk a mile in her shoes. The choice of how one’s body is to be used – of whether or not to use it to bear children – is too central to a woman’s life to allow anyone else but herself to make such a decision.
My bottom line? Being pro-choice means you respect that other women have the capacity and sheer right to make the right choices for their own bodies.
As the saying goes – her body, her choice.
Do you have an experience you’d like to share with us at wham, either in your name or anonymously? Contact us or send us an email at [email protected]
Michela Muscat is a 20-year-old University student who strives on feminism, fashion, dancing, beauty, writing… and a good bottle of vino.
From waitressing to writing, she has been determinedly working ever since she was 15, started writing professionally at 18, and has never been afraid to speak her mind. In all aspects of her personal life and work, Michela has always aimed at keeping it real and prioritises female empowerment, independence, equality, and above all, unity.
